Do-Nothing Professors

If you think I’m frustrated, you’re right.  Year after year, I’ve witnessed a plethora of strategies that I’ve found professors employ to keep the status quo.  But, it’s not just professors who use these strategies.  Classroom teachers use the same techniques.  And, while I’ve not had an opportunity to work extensively in the business sector, I’m sure these same foot-dragger, do-nothing types exist in that environment, too.  So, we in higher education don’t have a corner on the market.  Let’s make this into a game.  The next time you’re in a committee meeting, see how many of the following types pop up.  Then, send me a comment on this blog.  Maybe you can provide all of us with some new insights on how to spot these individuals. 

The Passive Aggressive Type

Also know as “The Get Even” professor.  They sit passively during department or committee meetings but are silently brooding and seething.  They seemingly go along with the majority but then attempt to undermine agreed upon protocols by not adopting majority positions, purposely failing to become part of the team effort, or breed hostility through conversations with other faculty members.

The Silent Type

This is the professorial version of the students who adopt the “do not make eye contact with the professor” type.  They sit silently in meetings, offering neither positive nor negative comments on the points being discussed.  Their primary goal is to add another item to their vita.  When it’s time for promotion, they are able to submit a long list of committee assignments.  They take the position that it’s quantity of work, not quality.  Sometimes they can be spotted sitting in meetings nodding approvingly at the most inappropriate times. 

The My Feelings are Hurt Type

When backed into a corner, you can expect this individual to use the compassion ploy.  Woe is me.  Look at me.  I give my all and I still can’t please anyone.  Now I’m taking this attack personally and my feelings are hurt.  How could you personally attack what I stand for?  The truth be told, this individual stands for no one except his or her self.  When they are finally exposed, they play the sympathy card.    

The Huffer and Puffer Type

Easy to spot.  When threatened, they sit up straight in their chair and reach down for their loudest voice.  Like a steam pot, once the steam starts to percolate out, it can’t be shut down.  The longer they percolate, the less rational they become.  It’s not unusual for their thinking to swing 180 degrees in the course of their diatribes.  They sometimes become so enamored with their own pontifications that they frequently miss many good opportunities to sit down and be quiet.  And, once unleashed, they are almost impossible to settle down.

The I’m Dr. Kindhearted Type

Easy to spot.  Whenever there is a trajedy, illness, or some other type of misfortune, this person jumps to the forefront waving a flag as the angelic martyr who will comfort the afflicted.  “Bless his soul,”  “my heart goes out to her family,” or “let our prayers be with him” are the clichéd phrases they repeat or post in e-mails.  By putting on a compassionate air, they redeem their daily bad behavior of working against group goals.  Or, they absolve themselves of badly treating their students or doing other unethical or underhanded behavior.

The This Too Will Pass Type

Easy to spot characters who have attained senior status and are at the end of their careers.  They sit passively on the sidelines with a smirk on their face as if they are above the fray.  They adopt the attitude of “if only all of you were as brilliant as I, you wouldn’t feel so passionate about this issue.”  Aloof, they can usually be found occupying the back rows of discussion groups. 

The I’m So Overworked Type

Frequently seen running down the halls with papers dropping at random from the piles they have clasped under their arms.  Another dead giveaway is that this type sits in meetings with their calendars open before them, scribbling notes in boxes representing days of the month.  The modern day counterpart is the professor who sits with their smart phones punching in appointments and other data like “Stop for groceries” or “Yoga on Thursday.” 

If you’re as frustrated as I am by these types of individuals, my suggestion is to go for a long walk, go to the gym, or write about them.  I know I’m feeling better now that I’ve got these creeps out of my system.